you make it too easy.

My head looks like a penis. And I don't believe in showers.

Hmph...yep

Greetings, Internet! It has been some time now, but your boy is back. Much to discuss, let's do it to it...


FOOTBALL IS BACK:

It's about damn time. I could only watch so many more Twins/Tigers baseball highlights before I just lost it. That shit is terrible, and I'm glad football is started and here to stay for a while. The weekends are a hundred times better in every way, and I don't know how I went without watching games all day for so long. None of my favorite teams (Memph, Pitt) look to be super awesome or anything, and I already don't like all 3 of my fantasy teams (yeah, 3 is too many, I know, never done it before, already regretting it, back off), but I could really care less. I watched every second of the Ravens/Jets game last night and it was everything I had hoped for and more.

Random Observations:

• The Jets look overrated. Their D still looks good, but their little near-Super Bowl run last year made people forget one thing: they still can't score. They didn't last year and got to the SB on big plays and defense. Unless Santonio has a real big year when he comes back, they will not score enough.
• The Ravens look scary good, but beatable.
• The Lions got screwed. Glad I'm not a Lions fan after that game.
• Ray Lewis is terrifying.
• Anyone seen the story about the Mexican reporter being "harrassed" by Jets players? It's obviously a non-story and overblown, but my God, has anyone seen her picture? (Sorry poo, just think of her as my Robin Patterson or whatever - gay Twilight guy)

Predictions:

AFC Championship: New England Patriots 24, Baltimore Ravens 14

NFC Championship: New Orleans Saints 38, Green Bay Packers 35


Super Bowl: New England Patriots 41, New Orleans Saints 27
Co-MVP's: Tom Brady, Randy Moss

(Notice the Giants aren't mentioned anywhere babe?)


Other Stuff:

• Hey, I finally beat Brickbreaker a few weeks ago. It only took me over a year or more to do it too! It was very surreal...I was like "holy s*** I'm going to beat this thing!" then it just starts back over at Level 1 like I haven't just accomplished anything at all. Bastards. Way to rain on the parade, Brickbreaker. Our little work/poop breaks are through!
• The lady friend and I are almost done in our quest to catch up on all 6 seasons of The Office before it starts back up next Thursday. Only 6 more episodes to go and we are so there...
• I don't think anyone that reads this watches Entourage, but maybe, anyways Season 7 just ended. I didn't get into the show til about Season 4ish, and later I come to find out that the first 3 seasons were all awesome apparently and all the ones I've seen since are pretty crappy in comparison. I've stopped keeping up with the show before, but this season that just ended was pretty solid I have to say. It was only 10 episodes, though, and they were all 25-30 minutes, even the premier and finale. I dunna, I just think that's lame - not enough episodes or show for a primetime HBO show. And HBO has announced Season 8 next summer will be the final season before a movie comes out after that. And Season 8 will only be 6 episodes long. Lame. Even lamer is that I probably just wasted all of your time because you don't watch it. I apologize.

Well, I'm sure there's more I could chat about, but I gotta jet. Later alligators.

:)

MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE BEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD! SHE IS AWESOMEEEEE!!!!

Still Got It

Yeah, so The Expendables kicks ass, and everyone should go see it. It's not the type of movie that will appeal to everyone and it's not the best movie I've ever seen or anything, but it's pretty damn awesome and even exceeded the expectations I had for it. The acting and script are not nearly as bad or mediocre as you would assume they would be for a movie like this. The cheesy one-liners are kept to a minimum and actually kind of funny anyway. It also helps that 95% of the action and fight scenes are well-done and realistic looking, and there is very little CGI or over-the-top scenes that just look more ridiculous than real. I was seriously impressed by how well done the movie was and can't wait for the sequel which is apparently in the works. It's basically just a really fun movie throughout the whole thing with no slow or dull periods, and one where several people clapped when the movie was over. Like he did with the latest installments of Rambo and Rocky, I was really surprised and impressed that Sly was able to bring it so hard again and actually make a decent movie, especially this late in his career.

Overall Rating: 3.65 stars out of 4. Seriously, check it out...

Sports:

• Rudy Gay has been ballin for Team USA...led the team off the bench yesterday with 19 points on 7-12 shooting, had a couple of vicious dunks too.
• Tim Tebow ran for his first touchdown last night in preseason and should have had another TD if a receiver hadn't dropped it. I definitely have converted on the whole Tebow thing since he was at Florida. Couldn't stand hearing about the turd in college, but everyone being so down on the dude about absolutely everything is annoying. I hope the dude does well, honestly. I'm not gonna run out and buy a Tebow jersey or anything, but all the hating on the guy is way more annoying to me now than everyone riding his nuts before.
• Lance Stephenson, "Born Ready," pushed his girlfriend down a flight of stairs. Of course he did.
• Udonis Haslem got caught driving around with a bunch of weed. Of course he did.
• Weird Story - So I read today where Chiefs WR Chris Chambers got married recently to his stalker?? Seriously, he had filed 11 different misdemeanor stalking charges against this woman, they finally meet one another and reconcile, and now they're married. What?

"Ruuuuuuuuddyy Gayyyyyyyy!!"

I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Peace out, Internet.

sup

More randomness today...

So I might have mentioned this before, but The Expendables comes out today, and I'm pretty damn excited for it to be quite honest. Every article I've read and every preview or trailer I've seen has only made it look more and more badass every time. For any of you who know me well at all, especially if you have lived with me before, I love sitting around watching whatever movies are on tv at the moment, ESPECIALLY movies made in or around the 1980s and early 1990s. I don't know why, I can't really explain it. The action movies especially are my thing and they're all the same - terrible acting, cheesy one liners, ridiculous plots, and awesome fight scenes. Here's to hoping The Expendables meets all of those criteria. Because Johnson posted the Stallone clip earlier, I'll have to go to the next best thing I guess and post a few Seagal clips to wet everyone's appetite for the classic coming out tonight. That, and I've watched Out for Justice like four times in the last week. He may not be in The Expendables at all, but he is still awesome and will rip your fucking head off.









Have a great weekend everybody! And remember, fighting doesn't solve anything, Internet. Unless you're Steven Seagal.


LATE

more catchin' up to do

I realized shortly after posting yesterday that there was a lot more random crap I had to talk about. So here it is.

Griz:

So unless anything big happens before the start of the season, I'm thinking the Griz team this year looks almost exactly like the one last year. Which I'm cool with in a way because I'll take a 35-40 win season any day over the 22 win seasons, but to not take any steps forward with the young talent we have and all the cap space is disappointing...especially in the Western Conference where other young teams are making that next step. We were in the same boat with OKC for a while last year and have similar teams, but they're looking to be a lock to be a good playoff team for the foreseeable future. We still have Demarre Carroll and Thabeet. In all, we drafted decent but not great, lost Ronnie Brewer and a first round pick in the process, and got Tony Allen. Great. I like him and all, but I'm thinking the Griz take a step back next year and win around 35-37 games. Which like I said, I'll still take it in the end (thats what she said?). Who are we kidding? It's the damn Grizzlies.

Tigers:

Confession: The Will Barton thing was a serious blow to my excitement for the team this year. They'll be better and I'm excited about Joe Jackson, and I'll always get excited when the games roll around no matter what. But...we went from being a top 10 team to a team hovering around the top 25 all year, and just because we'll rack up wins in conference. Oh well, Go Tigers. I'm just tired of college basketball and all the stupid rules, cheating by everyone, players who don't care about their school, shady coaches, etc. Blah. I care less and less by the minute for college bball. Most corrupt and shady sporting league or organization by far.

Football: Kinda excited for the Larry Porter era to begin, not that I'm expecting anything ridiculous or particularly exciting. I just wish they'd be more competitive in a crappy conference and the games would be enjoyable to go to once again. I've seen a lot of stuff in the media about how much of an ass the guy is because he won't speak to media, doesn't let the assistants talk to the media, etc. Don't really care myself. If he puts a competitive team out there and the Tigers win some games, everyone saying that crap will shut up and love the guy. And they'll talk about his "no-nonsense" approach and all that jazz. Dumb.



FYI - I heard on the radio this afternoon that Vegas has the Tigers as 21 point underdogs in the season opener against Mississippi State - who also sucks by the way, just not as bad. Wow. Hope that's not an indication of how bad the squad will be this year, but Vegas tends to know a little about these things.

Other Ish:

So I need some feedback, Internet. There's a couple of movies on my DVR that have been there for a while now, but I'm determined to get to them at some point. I just highly doubt I'll watch them all. Any of the four of five of you reading this ever seen the following movies, and if u have, is it worth my time watching them...

Funny People - has Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan, which should make for a funny movie and one that I would watch anyway. But every review I've read said it sucked, it didn't do well in theaters at all, anddd it's almost two and a half hours long. I understand it's not supposed to be strictly a comedy, but that's still too long for a movie with either of those guys in it. Eh

I Love You, Man - Paul Rudd who I like and some other popular comedian I can't think of in it. Also got bad reviews, but a coworker liked it, and I still think it deserves a shot.

Hancock - Most Will Smith movies made anytime in the last 5 years or so (or ever) have sucked, and this one is probably no exception. However, for an action flick it's not that long of a movie (can you tell that's a big thing for me? but don't get me wrong, I like the really long movies, they just better be good) and the plot is interesting I guess.


Just FYI, other movies on my DVR that I'm pumped for and definitely will be watched are Rambo III and Highlander. Could care less what you turds think about those lol.

'Office' Update:

I read online today that the show has already signed Timothy Olyphant (sp?) to appear on a few episodes in the coming season which is pretty cool. In case you aren't familiar, he's the complete badass that was one of the main characters on Deadwood on HBO (the sheriff), and he's also in a pretty highly acclaimed show called Justified. Also, to follow up on what Mr. Johnson posted earlier, they are looking at either Danny McBride from Eastbound and Down or Rhys Darby from Flight of the Conchords to possibly replace Michael Scott as the boss. I would definitely be cool with either of those. Season 5 is supposed to be coming in the mail today...woot woot

Rudy Gay and Mr. Belding...

That's it for today, I guess. The Expendables tomorrow with Johnson..I'm sure both of us nerds will blog about it next week and be like OMG ITS SO AWESOME lol Heh. I hope so. Perhaps after the movie there will be more Becker/McEnroe action to report? If I lose, I guess it'll only be fair to give pictures of my defeats as well. Btw, that was fun and all, but geez draggin pictures into the blog post really screws with the rest of the post? Annoying as hell! Is that just me? Anyways.

LATE

"when I come back like Jordan, wearin the 4-5"

Holy moly, Internet, where the hell do I start?? The House was boarded up and empty for a hot little minute there, but I just have too much I have to tell you! Hah. I just felt like we were moving too fast, Internet...I think we've both benefitted from a little time off and are ready to get back into this thing. There are many things to discuss. Let's get it.

Sports:

So obviously a lot has happened in the last 6 months or so since I've posted anything, but I'll try to recap at least some of them:

• My favorite football team's quarterback is a huge creepy perv apparently. Big Ben had his second alleged sexual assault case, and the details that came out with this one were pretty disturbing, disgusting, and yet also hilarious. I was glad when the Steelers got rid of Santonio, and I was hoping they'd consider doing the same with Ben. But they didn't, and that's probably a good thing for now. It's just too bad that as a Steelers fan, I don't even like the team's QB. By all accounts, he's kind of a big jerk to almost everyone and creeps on and shows his dong to young, drunk college girls. Nice, Ben. Creep.
• The World Cup was this summer. Not a huge soccer fan, but it's one of my favorite sporting events, and it didn't disappoint. And the U.S. didn't suck this time too, which was good.
• The world's number one golfer and arguably the best of all-time, got caught bangin a bunch of whures and is now in shambles, personally and profesionally.
• The Lakers beat the Celtics in the NBA Finals in 7 games, avenging their loss to them in '08. Not an actual Lakers fan, but thank God. Watching a washed-up KG (yeah yeah he showed up for the playoffs...still old) and a has-been Sheed strut around the court and yell like idiots with a title would have been awful.
• Lebron...could say a lot about this, but I'm over it. He left the Cavs for the Heat, which is understandable, but did it in a very dick way on a one-hour tv special that made even a die-hard sports and NBA fan like me embarrassed that it was really happening. Btw, I will have NBA preview for upcoming season soon...oh, don't you worry.
• Baseball...

What to look forward to -

• Football is right around the corner. Yessssss...(Napoleon Dynamite voice)
• NBA schedules came out yesterday, so basketball isn't too far off either. Always excited for some Griz ball...and I'm pumped for the Tigers too, but was a lot more excited a week ago when Will Barton was going to play...and Tiger fans that talk about how we should have kept Roburt Sallie are dumb, why? 1 tournament game and the rest of his career at U of M was crap, or just inconsequential blah

Entertainment:

I've been able to watch a decent amount of movies and catch up on some good tv shows lately, and I must share...I don't usually see movies in theaters that often, but since I actually have someone to go with now (yes, my lovely Poo...lol), I've seen more than usual. So far we've seen Shutter Island, Inception, Toy Story 3, and The Other Guys. All 4 were good, I thought, with Toy Story 3 being the best of them all actually. The Other Guys with Will Ferrell is pretty awesome, though. Definitely worth seeing. However, the grand-daddy of them all, The Expendables, finally comes out this Friday. Be there or be square, Internet...

As far as tv shows, the lineup has been a little weak lately. The only shows I've been keeping up with have been Entourage (which is finally good again), Children's Hospital (a funny 15 minute show that just started recently on Adult Swim), and Tosh.O which is my favorite one going now. However, an awesome looking show called Boardwalk Empire premieres in September on HBO, and that's actually the same week that Season 7 of The Office begins. The end of Michael Scott...so sad. P.S. The Lady and I have been catching up on seasons of The Office and are now through 4 seasons. Season 5 looks to start soon. We will get caught up before Season 7 begins, damnit!


Well, Internet, I've been rambling long enough and I must go, I'm afraid. But speaking of entertainment, I have saved the best for last today, kids. One game that Mr. Johnson and I are big fans of is Grand Slam Tennis on the Wii. That is one freaking awesome game, seriously. He usually gets the best of me overall, but the games are almost always close and just fun as hell anyway. Last night, old rivals met at Wimbledon, and yet another chapter of this great rivalry was written...



Special Edition, Wimbledon Recap - Boris Becker (Mr. Johnson) vs. John McEnroe (yours truly) - pictures included

Ze American came out strong, winning the first set...

The game quickly changed, however, as ze German Becker took control of the match...and Mac lost control of his temper...

The two would battle back and forth, sending the match into extra sets. Both Becker and McEnroe would survive match points against them. In the end, the American would prevail, as he should, 7-5.

Indeed, an epic win for a true American hero. Well, that's all for now. Have a good day, Internet. Hopefully you can be half as cool as John McEnroe.

LATE